My mother would have a heart attack if she saw my dorm room. There's a tampon wrapper on the floor; the garbage is overflowing, again. Dirty cups line my desk, and almost every item of clothing I own is strewn, unfolded, across the futon and floor. My towel is draped over the back of my desk chair, which is also serving as a desk for my laptop and a place to keep my many jolly ranchers. My books are either on the floor or sitting on top of the cardboard box of things I should have unpacked when I got here but didn't, out of sheer laziness. To complete the image, the floor is littered with candy wrappers, little pieces of paper from spiral-torn pages, and other miscellaneous debris.

I like to blame this mess on the small size of the rooms in Schroeder. It was really never this messy when I lived in Cobeen. The point being, don't let your parents near your rooms in college. At least not if you have any sentiments regarding their well being.